Creative Tumblr Thread Imagines Earth As Space Australia from Alien Perspective

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Eric Lund
Oct 12, 2019 7:00 PM EDT

It's compelling and somewhat flattering to think of Earth as the most dangerous place in the galaxy, with humans being the only ones crazy enough to tame it. This thought brings fun ideas such as the idea of humans as super resilient space orcs, or the idea that aliens trying to invade Earth could be stopped by local wildlife. It's informative, fun, and somewhat self indulgent.

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  • 01
    Text - dalekteaservice We knew about the planet called Earth for centuries before we made contact with its indigenous species, of course. We spent decades studying them from afar. The first researchers had to fight for years to even get a grant, of course. They kept getting laughed out of the halls. A T-Class Death World that had not only produced sapient life, but a Stage Two civilization? It was a joke, obviously. It had to be a joke. And then it wasn't. And we all stopped laughing. Instead, w
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  • 02
    Text - be. In the space of less than two thousand years, they had already produced implements of mass death that would have horrified the most callous dictators in the long, dark history of the galaxy. Already, the children of Earth were the most terrifying creatures in the galaxy. They became the stuff of horror stories, nightly warnings told to children; huge, hulking, brutish things, that hacked and slashed and stabbed and shot and burned and survived, that built monstrous metal things that r
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  • 03
    Text - their existence. Humanity flew in the only way it could: on all-consuming pillars of fire, pounding space itself into submission with explosion after explosion. Their ships were crude, ugly, bulky things, huge slabs of metal welded together, built to withstand the inconceivable forces necessary to propel themselves into space through violence alone. It was almost comical. The huge, dumb brutes simply strapped an explosive to their backs and let it throw them off of the planet. We would ha
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  • 04
    Text - They became our bogeymen. Locked away in their prison planet, surrounded by a cordon of non-interference, prevented from ravaging the galaxy only by their own insatiable need to kill one another. Gruesome and terrible, yes - but at least we were safe. Or so we thought. The cities were called Hiroshima and Nagasaki. In the moment of their destruction, the humans unlocked a destructive force greater than any of us could ever have believed possible. It was at that moment that those of us who
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  • 05
    Text - the same force that had melted their cities into glass less than a thousand years before - was slow and haphazard But it worked. Year by year, they inched outward, conquering and subduing world after world that we had deemed unfit for habitation. They burrowed into moons, built orbital colonies around gas giants, even crafted habitats that drifted in the hearts of blazing nebulas. They never stopped. Never slowed. The no-contact cordon was generous, and was extended by the day. As human c
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  • 06
    Text - The no-contact cordon was generous, and was extended by the day. As human colonies pushed farther and farther outward, we retreated, gave them the space that they wanted in a desperate attempt at... stalling for time, perhaps. Or some sort of appeasement. Or sheer, abject terror. Debates were held daily, arguing about whether or not first contact should be initiated, and how, and by whom, and with what failsafes. No agreement was ever reached. We were comically unprepared for the humans t
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  • 07
    Text - It was almost an accident. The humans had achieved another breakthrough in propulsion physics, and took an propulsion physics, and took an unexpected leap of several hundred light years, coming into orbit around an inhabited world. What ensued was the diplomatic equivalent of everyone staring awkwardly at one another for a few moments, and then turning around and walking slowly out of the room. The human ship leapt away after some thirty minutes without initiating any sort of formal commu
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  • 08
    Text - against them if they chose to wage war against us and claim the galaxy for themselves? The most meager of human ships was beyond our capacity to engage militarily; even unarmed transport vessels were so thickly armored as to be functionally indestructible to our weapons. We waited, every day, certain that we were on the brink of war. We hunkered in our homes, and stared. Across the darkness of space, humanity stared back. There were other instances of contact. Human ships armed, now enter
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  • 09
    Text - It was a border world. A new colony, on an ocean planet that was proving to be less hospitable than initially thought. Its military garrison was pitifully small to begin with. We had been trying desperately to shore it up, afraid that the humans might sense weakness and attack, but things were made complicated by the disease the medical staff of the colonies were unable to devise a cure, or even a treatment, and what pitifully small population remained on the planet were slowly vomiting t
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  • 10
    Text - expertise to help, and looked up with the blank, empty, numb stare of one who is certain that they are about to die. I remember the symbols emblazoned on the sides of each ship, glaring in the sun as the ships landed inelegantly on the spaceport landing pads that had never been designed for anything so large. It was the same symbol that was painted on the helmets of every human that strode out of the ships, carrying huge black cases, their faces obscured by dark visors. It was the first f
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  • 11
    Text - much later - it was impossible to ascertain gender through the bulky suit and the mask. But she strode up the stairs onto the balcony, carrying that black case that was nearly the size of my entire body, and paused as I stared blankly up at her. I was vaguely aware that I was witnessing history, and quite certain that I would not live to tell of it. Then, to my amazement, she said, in halting, uncertain words, "You are the head doctor?" I nodded. The visor cleared. The human bared its tee
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